I’m currently doing a batch at the Recurse Center in Brooklyn. I’m just a little over the halfway point and it feels like a good time to write down some brief thoughts on how things are going and how I’m feeling.
In a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, Recurse is like programmer rehab. Or a halfway house, I guess. The reality of industry software development is, at least in my view, quite bleak—a lot of people feel trapped (or imprisoned, to continue with the analogy) in industry jobs(1) that slowly sap away their passion and love for the craft. It’s been said by people far more experienced than I, but I think that most paid software development work isn’t really programming. It certainly doesn’t involve computer science.
There’s a lot of ink that could be spilled about this state of affairs, but for now, it suffices to say that even if you really love programming or computer science, or perhaps even because of that love, it’s hard to not get burnt out by the industry grind. Software is often an enormous mess, both technically and socially. There are a lot of things that conspire against a desire to just create cool stuff that works well(2).
The best part about Recurse is that I get to hang out with a bunch of people who A) are excited about programming and computing and B) want to share that excitement in ways that edify others. It’s refreshing. I think it’s rare. And I think Recurse does an excellent job of creating and fostering that kind of community.
I do think that if I were planning on going back to industry afterwards, I wouldn’t feel quite as negatively about it all. There are cool things being done. There are people who love the process and craft, people who also hold values that matter deeply to me. There is a lot of light and joy out there, despite the pervasive gloom. It’s not all hype-chasing, profiteering, and grift.
Graduate school, or at least a PhD, feels like an extension of the Recurse environment in the sense that it can be (at its best) self-directed and curiosity-driven. You can have the freedom to do cool stuff and make things meaningfully better. I’m excited by that—that’s really the core of what I wanted when I decided to start down this path.
I hope I don’t lose the excitement and love I have for all of this stuff when it becomes my job, or at least when it becomes the main thing that I have to do. That’s my biggest worry. But it’s hard to tell what the future will bring. There will always be ups and downs and moments of darkness. But if, at some point, I do end up feeling burnt out and tired of it all...perhaps I’ll just come back to Recurse for a bit.